Essentials for the DIY spanner jockey

One very good way to save money on your motorbike for new trick bits is to do as much of the maintenance yourself as you can. From servicing to changing pads, chains, exhaust systms and balancing and jetting carbs (if you're into that kind of ancient magic). So here are 10 things any budding home mechanic should have.

A service manual

Sure youtubing tutorials is fine but having a proper reference book dedicated to your specific machine is the best way to go. Also, books don't run out of battery or wifi signal and will supply you with all the relevant information you need to tackle any job on your bike from the simple to the complex.

Torque wrench

There are a good few nuts and bolts on a bike that need torquing up the right amount. Front axle nuts for instance if over torqued will pinch the forks together and could cause adverse handling effects and have a potential to decrease the service life of your wheel bearings despite having spacers. Under torqued fixings have a potential to work themselves loose. Manufactures don't say X bolt needs Y torque for the fun of it. So get a decent torque wrench.

Note on expensive vs less expensive torque wrenches.

Sure you can drop £400 on a nice digital Snap-On wrench but are you going to be using it day-in day-out? Unlikely. So what is the main difference between say a £250 torque wrench and a £50 one? Mostly it's the calibration. More expensive wrenches are calibrated to finer tolerances which might be down to 0.1 of Nm while less expensive ones will have slightly larger margin of error, perhaps 0.5 Nm. Less expensive wrenches will also lose the calibration quicker as well, but at the rate most home mechanics use them this won't be notable at all. If you're maintaining a lot of bikes on the reg or you race and do all your own work so you'll be torquing all the time, then sure invest in some good digital equipment, but for everyone else, a less expensive vernier gauge torque wrench will provide you with years of service for less than half the cost. 

Zip ties

God be praised for the wonder that are zip ties. These fantastic fixing should be in every mechanics tool box for jobs like tidying up wiring to holding broken bits and pieces in place to securing bodywork or organising other tools. Get some.

Decent socket and allen key set.

Get it in a 3/8 drive and with a half decent ratchet and a couple of extenders there shouldn't be many fittings on your bike that you won't be able to tackle, except perhaps fairing clips but there is a special place in Hell reserved for the guy who came up with those infernal things. 

Lock wire.

Like zip ties, lock wire has a multitude of uses form securing bolt heads to stop them working loose to holding parts in place. The benefit of lock wire is that it can also be used on things that get hot, like engine and exhaust mountings.

Disposable rubber gloves.

There are a good few mucky jobs on bikes like chain maintenance that can leave your hands with some hard to shift crud on them. Gloves will aid in not just keeping your paws cleaner but also keeping them free form potentially hazardous substances like brake fluid and carb cleaner, which unlike Oil of Olay is pretty bad for your skin.

Workshop light

Not much on a bike is hard to get at or see but there are a good few dingy crannies that can be difficult to examine particularly if you have to work after dark or in fading or low light. Having a decent portable workshop light is a must for illuminating while your ruminate on the current mechanical puzzle you're trying to tackle.

Kerosene/Parafin

Being a light oil Kero is a very cost effective way of tackling chain cleaning as it works out on average as much as £2 cheaper per 100ml than aerosol chain cleaners like those offered by brands like Motul and Muck Off. It will also tackle other hard to shift grease and oil deposits on the bike and is safe top use on plastics as well as metals.

Silicone spray

Apart from bringing up your bike like it's new after a good clean, silicone spray is also excellent at offering a lasting protective layer for your machine's body work and engine repelling both muck and water. Because of silicone's nature it is safe to use around electrics, plastics and metal. Just keep it away form braking surfaces and control surfaces as it will leave them slick as well.

1/2 drive breaker bar and a few choice 1/2" sockets. 

A 3/8 drive will get through most stuff but the 1/2 drive is the ultimate tool for releasing those tough to shift nuts and bolts like rear axle nuts and front sprocket nuts. Just get a few sockets in some useful sizes and there shouldn't be a fixing on your bike you can't tackle no matter how tough it wants to act. Most breakers are also long enough to brace on the ground as well which makes them very useful for torquing up front and rear axle fixings leaving your hands free for your wrench. I haven't found much I can't shift with a 600mm breaker.

Paddock and head stand

Together these offer a much more inexpensive option to hydraulic table lifts and require a whole bunch less space to use. They are inexpensive to buy, practically require zero maintenance and are small enough to keep in pretty much any cupboard but they will make tackling jobs like removing wheels and fuel tanks, taking on engine maintenance and lubricating chains so much less hassle if your bike is not fitted with a centre stand.

After you've got the basics down and are more familiar with tackling jobs on your bike you can add to your kit as and when is necessary getting more specialised tools to tackle more complex jobs. What's more you'll save even more money for that new Yoshi system you've been eyeing up while quietly hiding the fact from the Missus'.

 

5 Bikes that will make you rich in the next 5 years

Everyone knows what a "future classic" is. Though the term is banded around with gay abandon sometimes the seller of said clapped out non-runner may actually be onto something. Though second hand market trends are hard to predict due to their fluid and spontaneous nature last year's trash may very well be next year's treasure. 

What drives market trends? Well this is a very hard question to answer as not everything that is old or rare is necessarily worth anything. Some bikes will just be old and cheap, I can't see anyone paying top dollar for a Suzuki Katana anytime soon, but a late 90's YZF-R1? What drives market trends in bikes are a number of things. Rarity is one of them but is hard to pin down, not everything that is rare is valuable. Nostalgia is a big factor, after a period of time a bike will slip into just being old, after slightly more time it will slip into the era of nostalgia depending on it's initial reputation. 

Look out for flagship bikes, first of their kinds or bikes that already have a growing following or a good reputation. Pinning what makes a bike saleable outside of it's time of release is hard, but it's not impossible.  

So here are 5 bikes to look out for.

Honda CBR900RR 

Honda's flag ship superbike particularly in it's earlier forms are rocketing in value with second hand market values creeping up around 30% even in the last year or two, with values now exceeding £3,000 for a mint one on the private market and in dealers clean bikes can fetch £4,500. But there are still bargains to be had for the sharp eyed buyer as there are plenty for less than £2,500 out there that can easily make £5k in the next few years.

Look out for the early 900RR, 929 and 954 models. 

Honda XR250, 400 and 650

Some dirt bikes are just dirt bikes, others for whatever reason are legendary. Either for their reliability, ridability or just their fun value. Honda's XR range is no exception to this. With clean bikes feting over £2,000 with prices on the rise as they have slipped into that eerie land of biking nostalgia harking from the days when you didn't need to rebuild a top end after so many hours of use. Despite the deluge of brand new Euro bikes dominating the dirt market there is still a strong pull for these old thumpers thanks to their simplicity, reliability and the fact that they tractor through pretty much anything you throw at them. 

Sharp eyed buyers can pick a slightly tatty and well used one up for £1,000-1,300 throw a bit of cash and time at it and sell it for a handsome profit, hanging onto it is likely to prove even more profitable. 

Yamaha YZF-R1

The competition to Honda's Fireblade came in the shape of Yamaha's very own flagship superbike, the R1. A few years ago you could pick up an older model for next to nothing. They weren't considered special and more considered behind the times. But thanks to the speed at which sportbike tech moves, the early R1s are coming back in as a way to seek thrills on a budget as despite their age, they're still a lot of bike. 

This has done a great thing to their secondhand market by pushing demand up and therefore prices too. Clean examples can fetch £3,000, mint examples can be more. But there are still plenty to be had for less and with a little time I can see them running right along side the older Fireblades in terms of price. 

Suzuki GSX1300 R 'Hayabusa' 

The bulbous and slippery hyerbike has always had a following. And that's good. Released in 1999 this monstrous rocket ship can now be had for considerably less cash. With earlier models fetching more money thanks to the less electronic corking of the motors and prices set to rise as interest grows. I've seen these sell for £4k in dealerships. But the sharp eyed among us can pick them up for considerably less, particularity on the European market. 

If you have an early 2000s one, hang onto it. 

Kawasaki ZX9R 

The mean green machine is quite a bike and easily a future money spinner as of course Kwak don't make the mighty ZX9R anymore. But with interest steadily growing as an affordable hyperbike that can see near 200mph with some modification, prices are rising as demand is growing but less bikes are on the market. 

Just remember that 

Interest / Demand + Rarity = Cash. 

~

This is by no means an exhaustive list. But the votes are in on these bikes as they are steadily rising in price. Given that emissions testing has largely killed off the 600 supersport market as well look out for some tasty bargains in the half litre class that could very well land you in the cash later on. The CBR600F4 and F4i's have seen a hike in price in recent years as well. 

5 tips for new bikers

Entering the wild and wonderful world of motorcycles is not for everyone, sometimes it's not for those who have passed the tests and got a bike either. But if you think it is for you here are 5 tips to help you in your journey to fucking awesomeness.

1: Don't be a pussy.

Bikes, like dogs, can smell fear. They aren't as unsafe as many might like to inform you - mostly people who do not ride bikes might I add - but they are unforgiving despite the modern aids such as ABS and TCS. The trick with a bike is to grab the bull by the horns so to speak. If you are intimidated by it, it will know, it will throw you. Why? 

Here's why; when you're scared on a bike you go rigid at the controls or fall into target fixation mode or both. Which is a great way to eat shit because no other form of transport is so intimately controlled by the pilot. You have direct input to the steering, your weigh from side to side and front to back influences how the bike behaves and no matter how good the ABS is it won't stop you from flying into a corner too fast and face-planting a wall. So grab that bitch by the horns, stay relaxed, stay in control and your bike will respond how you want it to. Act like a bitch and it'll respond by lobbing you in a hedge. 

2: Ride fast

No other pass time in my opinion is like biking for fun thrills and good times. But if you want to improve your skills as a biker you have to push outside your comfort zone. 

Riding fast does a clever thing to your brain, it forces it to work faster - though it takes time and practise. If you're used to riding fast when you're at regular road speeds everything will be so damn slow that you'll see situations long before you even need to react to them and this in turn will keep you safe. In the beginning 40mph through town might seem like light speed in the beginning but as you get used to it 60mph will seem like walking pace. Learning to ride fast properly will also massively improve you braking, cornering, and your general acuity and bike handling skills. Fuck all every happens at 30mph that can really teach you anything, so do trackdays, go out and burn some B-roads, get that blood pumping and that brain working. 

But, take it one step at a time, practise braking, practise cornering, ride faster, ride as slow as you can keeping balance. Never be afraid to push the limits of your skills, you never know when you may have to call on them, keep them sharp and it'll keep you safe and having fun. 

3: Get your feet wet

Many riders spend thousands on riding and bikes and gear only to never ride. If you want to become the truest biker you have to get out and actually fucking ride. 3000 dry miles a year? Don't even call yourself a biker. That's like painting one room in your house and calling yourself a decorator. 

Get out there on the bike, sweat your ass off in the summer, freeze your ass off in the winter, get soaking wet in the autumn - or at any time of year in the UK. Riding in different conditions will teach you so much about riding and help to improve your skills. If you can ride fast and well in the wet winter imagine how fucking excellent you'll be when summer comes back around.  

Don't shy away from riding in all conditions at all times of year. Do road trips, go on biking holidays. There is not such thing as the wrong conditions for riding, only the wrong mindset. 

4: Play in the mud

Road riding is one thing but nothing teaches you more about bikes than expanding your knowledge to other types of riding and one of the best experiences is riding dirt. Whether

that's MX, Trial, Enduro or just a bit of greenlaning, get out there and get muddy. I promise you, you'll fucking love it. 

What's more is that because it is so unlike road riding or track it will force you to learn things you never knew you never knew. Dirt and trials bikes demand completely different skillsets and ways to tackle the obstacles they're designed to take on. They force you to balance at slow speeds, to get the rear end loose to make a turn, to do wheelies to get over things, to fine tune your clutch and throttle control and it's a fucking great work out. The only gym member ship you'll ever need is a dirtbike. 

Short primer on different dirt riding

Motocross: 

Fast dirt tracks, backing it into and out of turns, mental wheelies and big jumps, not for the faint of heart. 

Risk of serious injury if you fuck it up; quite high.  

Enduro: 

Technical and long tracks, lots of different obstacles and terrain to overcome, amazing scenery as lot of Enduro takes place well off the beaten tracks in mountains, valleys and forests, moderately low speed sport.

Risk of serious injury if you fuck it up; pretty low

Trails:

Very slow and technical riding, all sorts of obstacles and challenges, kinda like motorbike chess, bikes are cheap to buy and keep, great community and great for all ages.

Risk of serious injury if you fuck it up; Almost unheard of.

Greenlaning/trail riding:

Riding local byways and dirt tracks, pick your own pace and group of friends to ride into hedges with, super fun for a day out, take your mind off the drudge of life, get back to nature and all that.

Risk of serious injury if you fuck it up: Depends how mad you are. 

5: Welcome to crash city. Population: you.

We all crash, it's part of biking. The only riders who never crash at the posers who never fucking ride their bikes. On a bike you take your life in your hands alone and sometimes you'll get it wrong and find yourself sliding up a bank or down the road thinking... well that didn't go to plan. 

Get over it. Sometimes shit goes wrong on a bike, like you hit some shit on the road, you over cook a corner, or some fuckwit pulls out on you and you grab way too much front brake. If you can get up and walk away afterward, take the bike back, fix it up and get back out there. If you have a stay in hospital afterwards, well, sometimes shit happens. Get recovered, get well and get back on. Bikers are tough, we're out there in it, we fall off sometimes but any real biker can't wait to get back on and start riding again.

If you fall off, and you will, it's your choice if you wallow in your biking insecurities or get the fuck back on and get back to it. If you can't ride again after a crash and it't not due to a debilitating injury well, perhaps biking wasn't for you after all. 

We are a tribe 

The world over bikers understand each other because we're all on two wheels, race, religion, gender, it doesn't matter. Except those elitist hiviz 'POLITE' jacket wearing judgemental pricks who don't belong anywhere near a fucking motorbike. The rest of us, we're cool. I have mates in other countries who I connect with via biking, some stunters and squids, others racers and road riders on everything from commuters and cruisers to superbikes but we all understand the passion. Some of the best mates I've made have been through biking. 

So get out there and ride. Meet other people on bikes, talk to them, get involved, do trips and ride outs. Soak it up. It's the best subculture on the planet and there's always room for more to join, no matter what you ride.

What!? Ride in the Rain ?? Metzeler Roadtec 01's

I am never one to shy away from a challenge. Maybe I'm just ballsy, maybe I'm a bit of an idiot, maybe it's Maybelline... 

So when the weather says "screw you biker, here's some serious precipitation to damped your day" I get geared up and go out anyway. Hell, if the road racing boys can kick in a downpour at 180+ I'm sure I'll be ok. But you need good tires to still enjoy what the weather throws at you, well you do if you're not blessed with living in SoCal or the south of France.

Here in the UK you have to play the weather hand you're dealt and if I never rode in bad weather I'd only be out on my bike for about 3 weeks every year. I sure as hell ain't a 3000 dry miles a year kind of biker. 

With winter fast rolling up on me it was time to scrap the ageing Pirelli Stradas that came with my CBR 600 and put something more capable on the rims. 

I did the usual of researching my butt off and watching and reading so may reviews of tires that it just became a blur of manufacturers and rubber hoops. I was like a BDSM addict in a gimp suit shop; how could I possibly pick just one from a seemingly endless array of quality rubber? 

I needed something I could trust. 

My favourite motor-sport of all time is motorcycle road racing. I mean, I'm down for ANY motorcycle racing to be honest, from enduro to supermoto, British Superbikes, motoGP... but road racing is the pinnacle for me. One manufacturer is tied pretty tightly with the roads and that's Metzeler, a subsidiary of Pirelli who acquired the German company in the 1980s. 

But make no mistake, Metzeler are their own company and they specialise in only one thing; making motorcycle tires. Which means 100% of their R&D time goes into making bonza rubber hoops for your crotch rockets, petrol powered sofas, long way downers and braap machines. 

The one thing that I like a lot about Metzeler is that their rubber is designed around road racing which is arguably the most demanding type of racing for a tire to have to deal with. Which means even if you're only seeing 2% of that development get into a road tire it's arguably 2% more than what you might get from another manufacturer and at full tilt that 2% means a lot. 

This was important for me as a UK rider having to deal with terrible UK roads and worse UK weather. I needed a tire able to deal with those things, not a smart, born with a silver spoon on the race track tire, but a cope with anything dragged up through the roads tire. That's what Metzeler offer.

In the end it was a no-brainer, above the rest stood out the most recently developed sport touring tire (in 2017 when I bought them) and that was a shiny new set of Metzeler Roadtec 01s. 

So what is a Roadtec 01? 

To put it briefly Roadtec 01s are arguably one of the best sport touring hoops out there. They're dual compound rear and 100% silica front provide not only mechanical grip on the surface but chemical grip as well (as indeed all tires do these days). What this means is that when the rain comes you don't have to slow down so much and can still have a lot of fun. 

Metz put a lot of R&D time into the Roadtec 01 to make it capable in inclement conditions, provide great mileage while also retaining more than a semblance of the 'sport' in 'sport-touring'. The Roadtecs to this end provide progressive tread channeling that thins as it gets toward the edge of the tire to provide more absolute grip when leaning further in the dry with less squirm and uncertainty. And with separate reservoir divots between but not linked to the main tread it provides exceptional water clearing without making the carcass too flexible.  

The tire profile isn't what you'd call "flickable" but was more than sporty enough for me to keep up with a friend on his 600RR on sportier Dunlops through the turns and they never felt vague even when pushed hard under braking. Sure there is more flex in the tire carcass under heavy loading of course and the tread will compress and move around a bit, but it did so progressively and predictably, not in an unnerving way. In fact under heavy brake loading the front, especially in the dry, really grabs the road and offers pretty decent feedback for a sport touring tire and not much changes in the wet either which keeps the Roadtec 01 predicable and well seated when you need it to be. 

The Roadtec 01 is a superb all round hoop for long miles, hooning down B-roads and riding with confidence inspiring grip in the rain.

Who are Roadtec 01's aimed at?

This is a real easy question to answer. Metzeler have aimed this hoop at pretty much everyone. From tourers to classic riders - Metz make the Roadtec 01 in Xply sizes - to cruisers and heavyweight bikes to sport riders who don't shy away from the wet. They have truly covered the playing field. If you want smiles for miles this is  superb hoop to put on any road bike. 

How well do they work in reality? 

In the UK we have to pay a vehicle excise license fee, or 'road tax'. It's some kind of ransom payment levied on all UK motorists who want to use Her Majesties public highways. Though this differs from usual ransom payments in that you hand over the cash but don't seem to get much in return. Our roads melt in the summer and fall to bits in the winter. 

Most of our highways and byways are a patchwork of half done re[air jobs by underpaid road workers levied by councils who care less about a 10cm deep pot hole right on a corner than Yodel give about delivery times.

Great! The perfect condition for the new Metz rubber then! 

So I head up to my favourite spot here on the south coast of the UK to take in a collection of 5 roads that make up what I affectionately call The Beachy Head Loop. 

To me, it's my own little Ulster GP. Seven and a half miles of prime B-road, narrow in places, winding, undulating, bumpy and not much to catch any mistakes except walls, trees and fences oh... and a cliff edge.  

So I rode it. Fast. In the day, at night, in the rain, in the wind, in a storm one time at night as well. How did the Roadtecs fair?

Wow. Is all I can say, I had grip to spare in the turns and under braking, they felt sure footed no matter what the weather was doing or how slick the road looked covered in water and grit and other crud. They were completely un-phased by it allowing me to concentrate on having a good time. After my previous tires never feeling surefooted even in the dry it really lifted a weight off my mind to simply get down to riding and trusting the tires to do the job. 

What made the Roadtecs special to me was the shear grip I had under me in the wet, I've had tires that are always 'feeling it out' when you get on the twisties in a downpour but the Roadtecs cleared water exceptionally well allowing the silica rich compound to grab the road and you to go faster and lean further with confidence. 

All of this was also well accentuated by the profile of the tires which while of course not being as steep as the M7RR (Metzeler's intermediate sports/road tire) still allow you to get the bike swiftly through the turns. It felt like a good middle ground in fact; something built for the commute and the day to day in all weathers but also built for burning B-roads when the mood grabs you to go full on Guy Martin on your way home from work on a rainy night. 

Crap weather.... What crap weather? 

This what the Metz hoops are made for and boy are they made for it. 

Not once did I feel unsure about pushing them, and the way the tires dug in when I tried hard braking right down to a standstill from 30, 40, 50, 70mph+ just inspired so much confidence to really throw the anchors down if ever I needed too in a true emergency. Steadily increasing initial braking effort, I made those tires work for it and they replied by just digging in and stopping me to the point where the tail of the bike was hovering, even in the wet. Even snapping the brakes on at low speeds to temp a skid they really resisted the urge  to give up traction. They required more braking effort that anyone would really ever put through them to force them to break away.  

In the dry it was an equally confidence inspiring ride. With the tires up to road riding temps quickly they gave oodles of grip allowing me to brake later and turn sharper while always feeling sure footed. With Roadtecs under me I felt so much more confident on the bike knowing I had the traction when I needed it, especially in the wet which is a real thorn in the side of biking generally, but the Roadtec 01's brought the fun back in the rain.

If you want a confidence inspiring tire that offer great mileage with a sporty edge inspired by the toughest road races in the world coupled with shed loads of grip in the wet and the dry there is only one set of tires you need; 

Roadtec 01's. 

How to stop criminal assholes from jacking your shit.

It seems almost every day while perusing moto related forums on the interwebs that I see this bike has been stolen or that bike has gone missing. Occasionally someone will upload some grainy home CCTV footage showing a couple of scrotes hoisting a bike over a back garden fence. 

It always makes me wonder... what are these people using to secure their bikes with, wet spaghetti? 

Criminals are defeated when shit gets too hard for them to move. Unless they are an extremely well equipped and organised outfit most home security will defeat your run of the mill bike thief. So why are so many bikes still being jacked considering bikers are spoilt for choice when it comes to security? 

From what I've seen, read and watched it's down to the fact that people haven't got the first damn clue how to make it hard for criminals.

So here's some tips for you...

Get your crime on

To even start looking at security in the right way you need to think like a criminal. Think like a bike thief might. Look at your bike and think how you would steal it, how you would defeat the security, what might make it hard for you to get away with your pride and joy? 

This can be easier said than done of course as most of us have zero bike thieving experience and generally try and stay on the right side of the law - which only seems to have long arms when you've got a small number-plate and a loud exhaust.. but that, perhaps, is a conversation for another time. But considering how you might attack your own security is a very good way to find weaknesses that might make it easy for a crook. 

You gonna steal the lamppost as well? 

Some of us have the luxury of garages and secure back yards but many bikers have no choice but to leave their much beloved machines on the street. So if you have to park your bike on the street think about what you can secure it too and how you secure it. Think about how easy it might be for a couple of blokes to lift it into a van in the dead of night.

1) I use multiple security devices.

A disc lock is a fair deterrent to your opportunistic 'I'll just wheel this nice S1000RR away' type of thief, but to this I add a decent quality chain and I have my bike data-tagged with very visible datatag stickers as well as an alarm. This way if they really want it they have a whole bunch of hassle to get it. 

2) I secure it to something solid via a point on the frame of the motorcycle. 

What you secure it too doesn't mean a damn thing if it's tied to a weak point on your bike. I've seen bikes secured by very expensive chains to solid structures by way of pillion peg mounts, which on most bikes can just be unbolted. Or via the wheel, which again, takes a whole 60 seconds to remove on most machines. Look for a point on the frame of the bike, either the chassis or the subframe to secure it to. This way they will be forced to defeat the chain (which on most high quality chains will take an angle grinder, a lot of time, noise and about 10 blades for it) or dismantle the whole bike to get at it. Most thieves do not wanna be unbolting sub-frames and dropping engines out and chassis to knick a bike. It's too much hassle and does not make for a quick getaway. 

This, in real terms, is about as effective as leaving a post-it note on the seat
that says "please don't steal me"

3) Park it somewhere awkward

Bike thieves if they can defeat the security will still most likely have to manually handle the bike to get it into a van or wheel it off down the road. So securing it somewhere that makes it hard to do this is a good idea. Either by way of parking it, say, tight between two colleagues/neighbors/family members cars with it chained to one of their cars, or both. Or by way of parking it in a very noticeable area, perhaps somewhere well overlooked, well lit with obvious security cameras spying down on it. Or blocking it in with bins or other awkward/loud to move stuff.

4) Consider the hassle as a payoff

I know when you're tired and it's raining you don't wanna be scrabbling around under your bike feeding a bulky chain through a gap in the frame and then manhandling the bike when you realise you're 10cm out of reach on the chain connector after it's gone round the lamppost. But all the effort you go to pails into insignificance when you consider the effort you'll got to to try and rely on the Plod to recover your stolen machine and your insurance to make every damn excuse they can why they won't payout/replace it. And sadly only a very small percentage of knicked bikes ever make it back to their owners, a smaller percentage of that still in one piece. So go to the extra lengths to secure it.

If you do have a driveway, backyard or maybe a garage then install a ground anchor, alarms, security lighting. Do everything in your power to make it hard. Get creative... 

Hijacking

While in the UK hijacking is less common than in many other countries the spate of scooter douches jacking bikes right out of the hands of owners has highlighted a need to be prepared for theft on the road as well as when parked. 

So here are some practical tips for fending off balaclava'd doucheholes riding glorified lawnmowers...

Plan Ahead; Leave enough space between you and the vehicles in front so that you can get out if you need to. Identify escape routes round other cars, over pavements and between obstacles while coming to a stop at lights/junctions. Especially in intercity areas.

Keep it in gear; It may only take a split second to smack that selector into the mesh but that split second could be better used to slip that clutch out and get the fuck out of Dodge. So leave it in gear and be ready to beat a hasty retreat. 

Eyes up your arse; Always be aware of what's going on around you. If people are getting uncomfortably close know they're there and plan effectively to move away. 

Be prepared for the worst case; If all else fails you don't want them to be able to make a hasty retreat if they do get you off your bike. Leaving it in gear helps to this end, if you dump the clutch with the brake on it's a super way to instantly kill the engine. The benefit of his is it also loads the input shaft, so they'll have to do that annoying roll-it-forward-a-bit to get it back out of gear. Top this off, if you're being wrestled off your bike hit the killswitch as well - one more obstacle to overcome. A minor one but it's all about making it hard for them, remember? The cherry on the cake is to drop the bike, or even push/kick it over  (with a bit of luck onto one of them - even a mere 130kg of 125 can snap a leg like a matchstick) - now they have to lift it up, get it out of gear AND flip the killswitch which may give you enough chance to hand out a deserved ass whooping or for help to arrive or for them to give up and fuck off (hopefully into the path of an oncoming bus). If you can try to rip the key out of the ignition and retain it. But the other methods here will usually suffice.

Make use of your armour; If you wear gear then good, because this is body armour for the road and for being a road warrior, it will protect you from injury if attacked - I can attest to this from first hand experience. Even if they're also wearing gear like a helmet you can still rock someone with a hard enough blow to the head and you can still wrestle someone to the ground. You know what armoured MX or race boots are also good for? Stomping someone a new mudhole... or just use that shoulder armour to fucking spear them into the nearest car/railing/oncoming tuck... get creative. If someone wants my bike they can prize it from my cold dead fingers. That's the way I see it. 

But, I'm not fit, I don't know how to fight, I'm scared. Nothing to be ashamed of, hell I've got 10+ years martial arts and unarmed combat experience but I'd be lying if I said the last time I had to use it for real I wasn't scared. But play to your strengths; if your a big dude then bear hug one of them to the ground. If you're small and light throw fucking shapes and get butt-wild, kick the shins, aim for the family jewels. If you're a quick city rider then haul ass outta there. Escape is always numero uno on the list. If you have one opportunity to disengage and escape then take it. 

Take a Mate; Riding in groups is great for a number of reasons and besides great banter, good times and group selfies it's also good for protection. Us bikers love to ride after all so if you've got to pick up a toaster in East Croydon at 8pm and don't fancy braving it alone then find someone who fancies a little ride out, throw in a pub dunner and it's happy days. Plus bike hijacking asswipes are far less likely to target a two or more riders likely not fancying their chances against you and 3 other Power Rangers sporting full armour and jack boots.

   

Send a message. 

I don't mean go full on vigilante justice here (unless that's your cup of tea... I mean, I'm not saying don't do it) but the more bikers make it tough for thieves and fight back both with security and physically to hijakings the more they're gonna have to rethink their targets and tactics and as I've already said; your average bike crook isn't part of a multinational criminal racket with unlimited funds and resources. Most are clever opportunists that quite frankly a lot of bikers play right into the hands of. 

Bikers as a collective being more aware and upping their anti crime game we will also force them to up their crime game as well for many they will turn their attention to other areas, particularly the opportunist types that so many bikes seem to be lost to over garden fences and out of shoddily protected sheds.